I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
