belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
