Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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