I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
