my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
