Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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