No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize