woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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