Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
