When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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