My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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