What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
