And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
