some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
my vag is so smooth its legendary
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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