I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize