This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Someone signed my nipple.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
