the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
