This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
