We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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