piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
