Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
