am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
