He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
