I seem to have left my pride at pride
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
We're too hungover to prance.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
