they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
