Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
