Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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