My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
