So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
