was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
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