You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
