I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
