I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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