my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
