what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
