After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm both gender and math confused
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
