If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Sorry about my life...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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