he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
