You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
