my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
