I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize