they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
