On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
