so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
