Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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