I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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