Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize