I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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