i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
