dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
