I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
