It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
