Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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