let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
