he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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