Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
