I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Randomize
