If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Actions speak louder than pants.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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