Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
