Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
